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Do you have some articles from the old or even older Quitnet to share with everyone?
IT IS NEVER RIGHT TO HURT ANOTHER PERSON
REPOST From Dustin N. (Date Unknown)
My Note: This Repost is NOT about quitting smoking. I do not know who Mark is or was. But, in my humble opinion, I think it is good food for thought... For ALL of us recovering addicts... It is all about being nice... and being kind.
If you saw someone, who was starving and clearly hadn't eaten in days... more or less a decent meal in months, swipe a loaf of bread... Would you throw stones at them? Call the soldiers to have them beaten or banished from the population? Never presume you know what's going on in someone else's head...
Mental illness, depression, loneliness, poverty, social isolation... These are all internal and external factors that cause hopelessness in people that are less fortunate.
What if a simple, "Hi how are you?" or "Hang in there, I hope you have a good day” ... are just enough interaction for someone to decide to go on for another day... Because it was the only human interaction they got to have that day, or only KIND interaction they got, showing that someone cared... and that hanging in there... another day... was worth it.
Encouraging someone to quit smoking day after day is an investment. With your efforts, your time, and your emotions. And it sucks when someone lies to you. But we all "understand" the addiction and the irrational things it makes us do.
Mark doesn't fit into this profile. A few people read into it, some suspected it, others just believe what people tell them, and there's nothing wrong with that. Mark was here for a different reason than to quit smoking. He just needed someone to care about him even if it was by creating a fabrication. He wasn’t being mean. He wasn't commenting on anyone's threads but his own. He was saying exactly what he thought people on this site wanted to hear in order to encourage him or pat him on the back.
Was it wrong? In a lot of our eyes, yes it was, since we are struggling to overcome an addiction and we lash out at anyone who feeds it. But that's a mentality we have to overcome by pitying those people rather than being filled with rage or jealousy.
Was it wrong in his eyes? No. I don't think he had the capacity to understand what was wrong with it.
But if it bothered you so much, you could have just passed him up like a beggar sitting on the street corner looking for a bite to eat. You didn't have to look at him. You could have merely smiled at him. You could have said, I hope you have a good day. Or you can extend your hand and try and help. Some did all of the above. And we all know you can't help someone that won't help themselves.
The part that doesn't sit easy with me is the Mob mentality that people get when someone throws the first stone. Literally there are people that would stone a man to death in the right circumstances. And some of the ones who stood up for him? I previously saw them stone another member to death for losing their quit once and wanting to remain on the forum for less than a week until they regained their quit. So I don't think there needs to be any finger pointing like there has been the last couple days.
Some of us are retired and living it out on our land trying to regain our health so we can have a higher quality of life in our golden years. Some of us still have another 20 years to go but have smoked long enough it's impeded our health and we need to quit so we can make it to our golden years. Some of us are single parents struggling to make ends meet and need to stop smoking because we can't afford it and we fear leaving our children behind because we were addicted to a dirty habit. And then there's some of us, that live in poverty, never got anywhere, sitting in a one room apartment or halfway house because budgets were cut and we were booted into a society we don't mentally know how to deal with or live in and have found (somehow) an Internet forum to interact with someone.
Or some of us are elderly and have had all of our loved ones, family and friends, die off. Or they just don't come around anymore and found a place where they can have conversations, relive their youth or just plain act silly again to make them feel alive or of some sort of worth. What if this was your parent, or worse yet, the future state of your child? We never know.
I'm not asking anyone to invest in them. Or talk to them. Or even smile at them. Just don't persecute them. In this case be mean or lash out to hurt. You don't know if your words are what turns the light off forever.
Just... Simply... Turn the other cheek.
"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2
Concentrate on protecting your quits.