THE UNHAPPY SMOKER
REPOST: From Vikki (Staff) on 4/9/2010
Congrats on quitting smoking.
Stopping smoking is an ongoing process of learning and practicing new ways to live and cope effectively as a nonsmoker. It is not easy at first to stop doing something you have done every hour of your life for the last 20 + years. It takes time, patience and practice. Many quitters 'try everything' except the most important step of all - actively learning how to LIVE their new nonsmoking life! This means 'becoming a nonsmoker'. And 'becoming a nonsmoker' is much different than not smoking a cigarette for as long as possible.
'Becoming a nonsmoker' means learning how to relax, enjoy, engage, live, laugh and cope with EVERYTHING all in a new way - as a nonsmoker - for the first time for as long as you can remember! Stress, boredom, comfort, sadness, loneliness, wanting a 'reward', seeking familiar routine ... all these needs must be addressed effectively and not simply ignored. And this must be done without a cigarette. For many, many years, a cigarette filled all those needs. How many years did you smoke for? 20 years? 30 years? Half of your life? Most all of your life? Give your quit process time to succeed.
It is going to take focus, time, effort and practice to find NEW things to 'fill the void' and even more time for those NEW things to feel comfortable and become automatic parts of your life.
Today is a great day to get geared up and prepared for your quit process.
Revisit your motivations:
Why are you really interested in keeping this quit?
What will you gain from being a nonsmoker?
Is your quality of life important to you? Why?
Who is going supporting you through this? How will they support you? ASK for support and be specific about what you need!
Revisit your quit process:
What has worked well in previous quits?
What has worked well in the past 15 days? Write it down! Do more of it.
What has not worked so well? Stress issues? What are 5 things you can do that are relaxing and comforting to you?
Write it down. Do them!
Boredom? What are 5 things you can do that are fun and rewarding? Write it down. Do them!
Depression? This happens, quit or not. Day to day life, moods in general, people, situations, lack of interest... it happens if you are bored or stressed or dwelling on what you are missing instead of what you enjoy. Keep your activity levels up and reach out to friends and family. Do something fun or meaningful instead of dwelling on stopping smoking.
Missing cigarettes? When do you miss them? What are you REALLY needing in that moment? What can you do that is inspirational and of value to you, personally? Really think it through, write it down, and do it. Commit to practicing those new behaviors every day for the next 2 months of your quit process.
Now, add your personal, well thought out answers to the following:
How will you be relaxing and rewarding and unwinding and enjoying and comforting and entertaining and cheering yourself up each and every day? List at least 10 possible activities. Do one of them every time you feel like you cannot make it without a smoke.
How will you address habitual triggers like after meals, morning coffee, socializing, reading, watching TV, driving, between tasks and so on? List at least 10 possible distractions. Do one of them every time you feel like you cannot make it without a smoke.
Remember, instead of doing 'nothing' ~ get busy! Create new rituals and new patterns and new activities and new habits and new thoughts to replace the old cigarettes and the current void. Practice actively living as a nonsmoker each and every day by engaging in these new behaviors and new emotional coping tools and new habits. That way, you will not feel stressed or bored or anxious or lost. And you will not start 'romancing' the cigarettes.
If you actively 'Fill the Void', you will not have room or reason to miss smoking! Stopping smoking can literally save your life. It is well worth taking the time and effort to move forward as a nonsmoker!
Good luck, keep up the good work, keep going and KTQ! Vikki
Q Counselor